Monday, March 7, 2016

Why I am thankful for messy days and my crazy life




My house is an absolute mess today (well...in my terms of a mess), but I am thankful for the mess; I'm thankful that I get to clean it up.  Sounds crazy, doesn't it?  It feels crazy to say.

I had to lie flat from Thursday to Saturday of last week from a lumbar puncture (spinal tap).  Everything went great, but lying flat is precautionary due to complications I have had in the past.  And, let me tell you...my poor house suffered.  Dirty laundry piled up in groves, beds remained unmade for days, closets were turned into forts, and my youngest two played a prank by covering the kitchen cabinet handles with Vaseline and peanut butter.  Not funny.  At all.  

Yesterday was my first day up and about.  The day was filled with an amazing worship service at Life Point church, lunch with our small group (which included talking and laughing with my favorite little couple...you know who you are!), a large portion of the small group kids coming home with us, playing with my favorite three-year-old (she says we are best friends), our freshly groomed dog taking a mud bath behind the barn, three little girls having a strawberry and pickle picnic in said mud, meeting some precious new friends from our recovery group for dinner, attending our church's Dream Team event (indescribable!), then spending some time with our best friends afterward.  Six children had been at our house for the evening, and I walked through the door, fed my kids, spent an hour finding one kid's lost glasses, got everyone's school clothes ready (even my eighteen-year-old's), then crawled into bed.  I turned on Prison Break (which we are binge watching on Netflix right now), and spent an hour trying to keep Chad awake to finish the episode...that he had fallen asleep watching the night before.  Watching television with him is hard work!  I don't even remember falling asleep, but I woke up with two warm little bodies in my bed, one of them wearing a sleep mask.  I could have cuddled with them all day.  Instead, I dragged them out of bed, packed lunches, fixed hair, jumped in the van in my nightgown, and got halfway to school before realizing we had forgotten a backpack.  I dropped them at the door at school, watched them give the teacher greeting them a big hug, then drove home.  

When I walked through the door, I once again saw the mess.  Laundry, toys, dirty socks, muddy shoes, dog hair, beds to be made, dishes to be washed, overflowing trash cans....and I smiled.  I smiled because this means that they once again count on me.  This means that my husband is no longer used to doing everything on his own.  I smiled because it means that I matter and that my presence is missed/noticed when I'm gone/out of commission.  It means that I contribute (A LOT) to this family.  I smiled because I am happy to be here to do all of this, that this is now my home again.  It means that I have a husband and three kids (and a dog) to clean up after.  I smiled because it means that I am alive.  I smiled because I am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth, even if I'm knee deep in laundry, elbow deep in dirty dishes, and ankle deep in dog hair. Because, I'm head over heels deep in love with this crazy, beautiful, messy life that I get another chance at.



Read about the day my husband kicked me out by clicking here.

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